Intent vs. impact
This post originally appeared on our Facebook page on August 8, 2021.
When we started this page, we heard several times “Don’t just divide, Educate.” “Provide solutions, not problems.” “We need solutions, not accusations.”
To that end, here is an important--and very relevant--piece of education we need to delve into as a community:
The INTENT of your actions doesn’t matter: The IMPACT does.
We are not entitled to tell anyone, especially people who are members of chronically marginalized and disrespected communities, that they should not feel the way they feel about something we did or said because we “didn’t meant it that way.”
Mistakes happen. We will make them. But to make our community a truly welcoming and equitable place, the response to such a mistake HAS to be “I’m so sorry; I didn’t know. I will do better” and not “I didn’t mean it that way, so your concerns are invalid and you need to lighten up.”
Maybe you don’t know that a noose is a symbol of terror for Black Americans. You tied one in a public place in town without intending to cause harm. But you did. Now you know.
The acceptable response is to apologize and never do it again.
Maybe you posted a photo on social media or you or someone else wearing an offensive and racist costume. You thought it was funny and didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings.
However: It absolutely isn’t funny, you did traumatize people, and that fact was brought to your attention--including by community members of color. Whether or not you meant to cause harm has no bearing on whether you actually did.
The acceptable response is to apologize and never do it again.
No one is expected to know or immediately recognize everything that might be harmful. But if someone tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.
The acceptable response is to apologize and never do it again.
When we started this page, we heard several times “Don’t just divide, Educate.” “Provide solutions, not problems.” “We need solutions, not accusations.”
To that end, here is an important--and very relevant--piece of education we need to delve into as a community:
The INTENT of your actions doesn’t matter: The IMPACT does.
We are not entitled to tell anyone, especially people who are members of chronically marginalized and disrespected communities, that they should not feel the way they feel about something we did or said because we “didn’t meant it that way.”
Mistakes happen. We will make them. But to make our community a truly welcoming and equitable place, the response to such a mistake HAS to be “I’m so sorry; I didn’t know. I will do better” and not “I didn’t mean it that way, so your concerns are invalid and you need to lighten up.”
Maybe you don’t know that a noose is a symbol of terror for Black Americans. You tied one in a public place in town without intending to cause harm. But you did. Now you know.
The acceptable response is to apologize and never do it again.
Maybe you posted a photo on social media or you or someone else wearing an offensive and racist costume. You thought it was funny and didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings.
However: It absolutely isn’t funny, you did traumatize people, and that fact was brought to your attention--including by community members of color. Whether or not you meant to cause harm has no bearing on whether you actually did.
The acceptable response is to apologize and never do it again.
No one is expected to know or immediately recognize everything that might be harmful. But if someone tells you that you hurt them, you don’t get to decide that you didn’t.
The acceptable response is to apologize and never do it again.
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| Source: Wikimedia Commons |
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